Be The Real F**king Thing
Caution: there will be expletives today. I have just finished watching Tony Robbins – I Am Not Your Guru. And he points out that expletives are the only way to stop your stream of consciousness and bring you into reality. From someone that doesn’t speak with profanities this makes complete and utter sense to me- they shock me to attention. To say I am not a sceptic of anything related to ‘self-help’ and ‘mass motivation’ would be a complete lie. So why did this bullsh** resonate with me?
He is real, he is not proclaiming to be anything but that which he truly is. And all he asks of his participants is the same. It seems simple but the reality of our current world is we are so caught up with everything that is unreal we have forgotten how to feel, how to honestly and wholeheartedly look at our lives and ask what is real here?
Our perception of relationships is who we are friends with on facebook and our popularity is the number of likes we get on instagram (I have to admit I don’t even know who rad_life08 is but they sure like me a lot, so my life must be going OK). Our friendships are easy to ‘maintain’ with quick snap chats but when was the last time your had a dinner party? We are slowly losing touch with reality, what is real, what is here and now and surrounding you. Without real human connections we feel our worth diminish. Our lives lose meaning because we are in a virtual reality instead of our reality. We are disconnected from ourselves and connected to who we think we need to be.
Tony Robbins aks the audience “Who here is really fu**ed up?” So many hands lift and wave around. And he rebuts “right, so it’s not you guys, you just want attention”. So he dives deeper “who is suicidal” a few people stand. What unfolds next is quite remarkable. A young woman, retells a story of childhood abuse that for most of us is unfathomable. Robbins has a gift, somehow relating every story, every persons aching situation to the wider audience. “We are all fu**ed up.” The weirdest thing is we all want the same stuff, love and happiness, and we are all swimming around in a sea of pain thinking we are the only ones broken. So we cover it up, we pretend we are fine, we smooth over what is real to create a guise that is perfect on the outside and dying on the inside. Why? Because we thought we were the only one. We thought our pain was insurmountable, our depression so deep that no-one could help, our heart so broken is was no longer worthy of love. Tony renounces “Bullshit”. You have to show up and be real, stop pretending you’re OK and open the doors of honesty. Find the human in humanity.
We aren’t perfect and for as many times as you see perfect on the outside there is struggle on the inside. No-one is living a life free of pain, this being human business is bloody hard. We are all a bit broken and some of us a lot broken. Shake me up on any given day and there will be a whole lot of rattling from the inside. But we have to wake up, be raw and real and stop pretending. Be who you are, not who you think you need to be. The biggest mistake of any lifetime is to live a life that is in disagreement with your fibres, the matrix that makes you. You were born into this time and place for a precise reason and you are here to tell your story. And without the good, the bad, the ugly your story wouldn’t be yours, it would be someone else’s.
We have all done bad stuff; we have all had bad stuff done to us. So be fu**ing real about it. Stop pretending to be ‘that person’ and start being your person. Your person is honest, has an authentic voice and a story to be told that the world has never seen. Don’t trade that for a life that has been lived by someone else. Real is the new generic, so brave the f**k up and play your part.